As someone who has been married for 38 years, Marilyn Chinitz knows a thing or two about love. Chinitz also happens to be the one people come to when they’re no longer in love: she’s a matrimonial and family lawyer based in New York at Blank Rome.
“A lot of couples have a problem that is fixable. But if you have many problems, then the house of cards falls, and that’s when people get divorced,” she tells Fortune.
In the U.S., the average marriage lasts only eight years, and about 40% of first marriages end in divorce.
“You get a divorce because of the totality of lack of communication, loss of interest, distrust, or controllingness. All of a sudden, it becomes insurmountable,” Chinitz says.
But Chinitz—who has had clients ranging from actors like Michael Douglas and Tom Cruise, to hedge fund managers, private equity founders, and Fortune 500 CEOs—shares the five things she says are key to a loving, lasting marriage.
Find the positives in everything
Chinitz encourages people to look for the best in every situation—even when it’s not easy. “If I look at my own marriage and think about what gave us this long duration—and I hope it continues for many, many years—it’s that I count my blessings. I don’t look at the negatives.”
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"Michael Douglas and Tom Cruise’s Divorce Attorney Shares the 5 Secrets to Making a Marriage Last," by Jordyn Bradley was published in Fortune Well on March 27, 2024.