The 1 Thing Divorce Lawyers (Almost) Never Do in Their Marriages
Given their profession, divorce attorneys have a unique point of view when it comes to marriage. (Though it’s not as cynical as you might think.)
They’ve seen the good, the bad and the ugly of relationships, and learned what to steer clear of in their own marriages.
Below, they share the bad habits they personally try to avoid with their spouses.
They don’t check their partner’s phone.
New York divorce attorney Marilyn Chinitz, a partner at the firm Blank Rome, said she would never go through her husband’s emails or text messages ― or his pockets.
“If you find yourself in a position where you want to do that, it already tells you there’s a problem in the marriage,” she told HuffPost. “If I was suspicious enough to start snooping around, that’s a big issue.”
Plus, checking your partner’s phone without permission just establishes (or perpetuates) a pattern of secretive behavior in the relationship.
“If you want a lasting marriage, you need to have trust,” Chinitz said. “Your partner should also always be earning that trust. If they aren’t, well, that’s a red flag.”
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Chinitz offered a similar observation: “Once it comes out of your mouth, it’s never forgotten.”
That’s why it’s important for couples to learn how to resolve conflict in a healthy way.
“This means avoiding below-the-belt insults, or going after insecurities or their family, for example,” Chinitz said. “Arguments should come from a solution-oriented place.”
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"The 1 Thing Divorce Lawyers (Almost) Never Do in Their Marriages," by Kelsey Borresen was published in HuffPost on June 29, 2023.