There are many reasons why people get divorced. Sometimes, partners stop talking to each other—a common issue for long-term marriages according to psychologists. Other times, divorce can be driven by money issues, empty nest syndrome, or health issues—all three warning signs you might be headed for a gray divorce.
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Dr. Gottman established contempt as the number one predictor of divorce.
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This contempt and lack of kindness eventually leads to divorce—something attorney Sophie Jacobi-Parisi, who works in matrimonial and family law, sees all the time.
“By the time they’ve gotten to me, the contempt and lack [of] respect for one another is tangible,” she tells Parade.
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Extreme contempt can be hard to come back from—over the course of her 20-year career working in matrimonial law, Jacobi-Parisi tells Parade that she’s only seen a few couples reconcile. But there are some things a couple can do to help reverse contempt—or, at the very least, counteract it.
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"The Common Habit a Psychologist Says Raises Divorce Risk More than People Realize," by Olivia Truffaut-Wong was published in Parade on September 5, 2026.