You might’ve heard of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, as depicted in the Bible’s Book of Revelation. But are you familiar with the Four Horsemen of Divorce?
It’s a concept developed by psychologists John and Julie Gottman to describe four communication patterns that can quietly ― and sometimes not so quietly ― erode a relationship: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling.
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“Here’s the good news,” said divorce attorney Marilyn Chinitz, a partner at Blank Rome LLP. “Criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling are learned behaviors. If a couple recognizes them, then they can replace them with positive behaviors ― responsibility rather than defensiveness, engagement rather than withdrawal, and respect rather than contempt.”
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"These ‘Four Horsemen’ Can Predict If a Couple Will Divorce," by Caroline Bologna was published in HuffPost on December 22, 2025.
