This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Marilyn Chinitz, a partner practicing matrimonial and family law with Blank Rome. It has been edited for length and clarity.
More than 40 years ago I was working in corporate law when one of the partners asked me to quietly help him with his divorce.
In the 1980s, you still needed grounds for divorce, and hearing about the details of a marriage breakdown felt sexy and salacious. Divorce proceedings were also intellectually challenging because they involved tax law, business valuations, and more.
Soon, I left the corporate world to found my own marital law practice. I've helped celebrities like Tom Cruise, Michael Douglas, and Wendy Williams get divorced and worked with billionaires whose divorces were in the headlines.
My personal life seems like an oxymoron: I've been happily married to my husband, Piero, for 38 years. We have two kids and two grandkids. From building a life with Piero to helping clients divorce, I've seen marriage at its best and worst. Here's what I've learned along the way.
Marriage needs a strong foundation, but you don't have to talk about it
A rock-solid foundation built on shared values is critical for a marriage to succeed. When I met Piero, we had many differences. He was born in another country, and we had different religions. Despite that, we were both passionate about education. We were hardworking and willing to work hard in our relationship.
We never talked about this foundation or asked about each other's values. If you talk, someone can tell you what you want to hear. You really get to know someone's values by observing them.
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"Divorce Attorney for Millionaires Shares Keys to Happy Marriage," as told by Kelly Burch was published in Business Insider on November 12, 2024.
