Back in the Game. Is There Such a Thing as Dating Too Soon?
Whether expected or unexpected, divorce, especially after many years together, marks a profound new beginning. It may bring the prospect of dating again or the opportunity to build a fulfilling life on your own. Either way, you are entering new and unfamiliar territory. As with so much in life, timing matters, and only we can decide when we are ready for what comes next.
How soon should you date after becoming single? There is no universal answer, whatever advice you hear. One friend may suggest six months; another, longer. Everyone heals at their own pace: two individuals can leave the same relationship on the same day, yet one may feel ready to date again within months while the other needs years. A new connection may be genuine, a rebound, or an “escape” from the previous relationship. Given the range of experiences, it is easy to feel unsure about the timing.
The Volume Dial is in Your Hands
From both a legal and practical standpoint, safeguarding yourself and your loved ones should remain a priority. If you begin dating again, resist the urge to announce it publicly or share it widely online. Avoid sharing details of your new relationship on social media, where a former spouse could see them and feel hurt. Spite is a spark that burns its own house down. At this stage, discretion and privacy are most certainly the wiser approach.
If children are involved, patience is especially important. Before introducing a new partner, it is generally wise to wait until the relationship has demonstrated genuine stability, which often takes several months rather than a few weeks. Throughout my more than 40 years in legal practice, I have had the opportunity to work with and learn from numerous therapists, all of whom unequivocally advise to wait at least six months, and ideally a year before making that introduction. During that time, maintaining clear boundaries between your dating life and family life can help reduce confusion and provide consistency for your children.
If custody discussions or separation agreements are still ongoing, caution matters even more. Reentering the dating world can be exciting, but careful consideration of each decision can help protect what matters most.
While Time Marched On
A famous nineteenth-century story is that of Rip Van Winkle, a man who goes into the mountains and magically falls asleep for twenty years. When he awakens, he is bewildered, and yes, even uncomfortable, by how much the world has changed while he was asleep. So too it may be for anyone stepping back into the dating world. After a long marriage, we often find ourselves, like Rip Van Winkle, waking to a landscape that has changed profoundly while we were away. The rules, expectations, and ways people connect will certainly be vastly different from what we once knew.
You may have to make peace with this, but remember no rule says you must start dating again after a divorce or separation. If dating feels unpleasant or too “new,” you are allowed to stop. If a date triggers grief or a sense of being lost, that doesn't mean you're failing. It simply means you're learning what you need right now. Take some time for yourself and try again later, or decide not to. There are no prizes or extra credit for moving forward faster than feels right.
When It Feels Right, Not When Others Say It Should
You are no longer married; you may be dating again, and the path is in your hands. After a marriage ends, the most important work is rebuilding and repairing your life. Everyone around you will have opinions about what comes next, but those opinions distract from the task at hand: focusing on what you need and what helps you move forward.
Time does not have to be your enemy; it can be your greatest ally. After a divorce or breakup, one risk is repeating the same patterns that caused pain before. Because you may be especially vulnerable, focus on healing before beginning a new relationship. Healthy relationships start with healthy people. In marriage, friendship, and family life, strong connections are closely tied to emotional well-being. The healthier you are, the more likely you are to build healthy, rewarding relationships.
Attorney Spotlight: Jackielyn Abellada - Los Angeles
In this edition of Attorney Spotlight, I am pleased to feature one of our esteemed Los Angeles colleagues in Blank Rome’s Matrimonial & Family Law group: Jackielyn Abellada.
A graduate of Fordham University School of Law, Jackielyn brings nearly two decades of experience to family law matters, including divorce, custody, support, equitable distribution, asset valuation, and parentage issues.
Jackielyn values family law because it offers continual opportunities to learn as the legal landscape evolves. Her practice allows her to help clients through some of life’s most difficult times. One of the most fulfilling parts of her work is helping clients reach a meaningful resolution.
Emotions often run high during a divorce or other family law proceedings. Jackielyn is patient and attentive, ensuring her clients feel heard. She provides thoughtful legal counsel while helping clients look beyond the emotional aspects of a dispute. By emphasizing the potential costs of prolonged litigation and conflict, she guides clients toward practical legal solutions that may prevent future issues. She welcomes every question and, even in the most heated conflicts, helps clients identify a path forward. This approach is one of the many reasons clients come to her.
When she's not practicing law, Jackielyn enjoys hiking, taking Pilates classes, and catching up with friends. She also devotes much of her free time to her three pets, Tashi the dog, and cats Arya and Arwen, who are constant companions and a cherished part of her daily life.
© 2026 Blank Rome LLP. All rights reserved. Please contact Blank Rome for permission to reprint. Notice: The purpose of this update is to identify select developments that may be of interest to readers. The information contained herein is abridged and summarized from various sources, the accuracy and completeness of which cannot be assured. This update should not be construed as legal advice or opinion, and is not a substitute for the advice of counsel.